Is Kissing On The First Date Too Much?

Written by JP Carlos

It is been a while since I got in the dating scene.  Well, for one I am married.  And probably I won’t do well with the changes in the dating behaviors that I see now.  For one, kissing on the first date seems to be a norm now.  Or perhaps I’m just a witness to really passionate people going out for the first time.  But would you kiss on the first date?

Call me old fashioned old dude, but I remember back in my time (and that was not really long ago) that kissing on the first date seemed a little too much. When I say kiss I do not mean a peck on the cheek.   I am talking about all out action of the mouth, tongue and adjacent muscles. 

First of all dating is a way to know the person better.  I just don’t think that you can do that by trying to suck out someone else’s tonsils out.    But I know people willing to trade oral fluids on the first date.   Second, do not think putting physical intimacy on the first date is a good way to make an impression.  It’s not like you French kiss someone to break the ice!  Third, I think kissing especially this type of tongue action is reserved for someone you love.  Right now, you don’t even know if you’ll have a second date.  Lastly, I don’t think getting a second date is based on how much slobber you get to make.it is based on actual emotional connection.  Plus, I hope it is not a bid to get to second base or home run on the next date.  Dating is more than just kissing.  Unless of course you think that there is no chance for a second date and you try to get everything you can on the first.  Even then, I think that is just low.

Has society become more tolerant of this behavior or am I just too stubborn to embrace this new reality?  The concern rests not on me trying to get some dating action – my wife will definitely disapprove.  Rather, the fear is on what to expect when my daughter gets to the dating age.  Will she be forced to walk in the shoes of first date kissers or will she embrace a less physical form of getting to know you?  Of course she’s just 3 right now.  But a dad will always be a dad.  And they grow up so quickly.   

Perhaps my notion of dating is outdated.  But I still cling to this belief because I know it is more sensible.  Moreover, I place more value in emotional and intellectual connections than just letting someone inspect my oral cavity with someone else’s tongue.  But of course, a peck on the cheek can be permitted.  But even then, I would still feel unease with that on that first date.

Would you kiss on the first date?